Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Nostalgia


A love-filled birthday song in phone by parents and best friends is itself a great birthday celebration.

The aim to achieve something appreciative in life left me with no other option but to say goodbye to the comforting lap of parents. The thirst of learning has been so raging that I kept drinking the liquor of facts scribbled in books…sip by sip…cup by cup…bucket by bucket… and now, I am drowning, struggling to come out, struggling to breathe, struggling to scream for help, struggling to get my life back.

 In the journey of time, I have traveled so far that looking back, I see nothing but a turn at a distance, from where is continuing an empty road, perhaps grown old, hiding her wrinkles in the dust of antiquity, resting beneath the quilt of dense forest.  Proceeding steps push me towards a pond, whose surface is decorated with floating lotus and leaves. Its water seems divine. Sitting on its circumference, I bent down to see myself……………

Wrapped in the arms of mother, I was dwelling in heaven. Climbing over father’s shoulders brought me so close to the sky that I could long to grab a handful of soft cotton-like cloud. Though every day of childhood used to be miraculously blessed, but there was something different about birthdays. With the struck of 12, a feeling of being special used to get occupied. Morning was welcomed with uncountable wishes, kisses and hugs from mom dad and sister, followed by list making of friends for birthday invitation and deciding the menu. I remember those afternoons, when mom used to prepare the dishes for party and dad’s attention dedicated in decorating the room. And, I investigating the whole event, so that everything goes perfect, taking care of every possible ways that would make my little party guests satisfied and impressed. The delicious smell of cake under preparation gives a satisfaction that the items in menu are almost ready, for cake making used to be the closing work in kitchen. As the sun bides adieu, a knock on door by best friend, who has always been the first to arrive in every birthday, drenched me with ecstasy, and peace, thanking at least one member has come for the party. And within an hour, the house was filled by cute little creatures, I being the center of attraction. Peeping out of the window, I use to get happy looking at increasing number of footwear in front of the door. The fun in party had been so intense that it reaches till the last quarters of the colony. I wish I could have invited few cats and street dogs, but I couldn't. After few hours, taking care of time, the party food was served. Few punks use to compete on how many puris one could have. And mom, so excited to serve food, used to get flattered, when one of these cuties adore her talent in making mouth watering food. And dad, managing everything, so happy to see all the kids smiling, or perhaps self satisfied for the fact that he had made everything possible. Being a kid was awesome. I can show my endless love and respect to my parents without uttering a single word.

But now, cruel time has forced me to grow. Demanding something from parents is no more ethical and crying in front of everybody is no more innocence. Gradually the birthday hugs got added with the hugs of best friends, and puri competition at birthday party got replaced by the birthday bombs. This is the love among grown up friends. At this grown up stage, almost everybody loses his mental stability under the pressure of some doodah, which they name “career”. But sometimes, to relax, to smile, to laugh, to cry, to complain, to confess, to demand, to sacrifice…..we need a friend. It is the stage when some serious truths and secrets are preferred to be shared with friends rather than family. This is the phase of life which teaches us the chapters of adulthood, after a book of childhood is over. 


Remembering these amazing moments leave nothing but desperation of nostalgia. A tear drop slipped from the corner of my eye and hurried to dip in the pond. A wave of reality interrupted the silently narrating pond. I am no more a kid! I have already lost 22 years of my life, which I can never bring back.  Time has moved much further. Today, my parents are too far to kiss me or hug me for my birthday.  Even my lovely friends are settled at their respective places, again too far to give me birthday bombs and pull me for birthday treat. It’s too difficult to express how much I am missing all of them… I am not getting how to conclude this piece of written work. Seems there is even more to express…….let it be incomplete….. let the time find the words to fill this emptiness…...let that something be missing…….